“The duty of delight…”

So we just moved and I am going through some of my old papers in order to shed some extra weight so to speak and clear up my shelves.  I write a lot.  I didn’t realize how much I’ve written…scratched notes and thoughts down on random scraps of paper and/or half used journals that I am uncovering.  Strange.  I think sometimes I loose them or put them down and move on to the next one.  Anyway, here is an excerpt from one of my “journal” entries from December 21, 2002:

“In reading Piper’s ‘Gods Passion for His Glory,’ Edwards’ life is told and his book is included…on page 74 it talks about the difference between believing that God is holy and merciful and ‘sensing’ God’s holiness and mercy.  He says that we must have a ‘true taste’ and delight in God’s mercy and holiness.  I think that is what is lacking in my life…a true passion for God.  What does it mean to truly hunger for and delight in God’s Glory?  To sense God’s grace, mercy and holiness.  I think to sense God’s holiness means to abstain from sin.  Much more of it to abhor sin.  [The one who] utterly despises sin is the one who truly senses God’s holiness.  To sense God’s holiness I imagine is to feel the suns warm rays on a clear sunny day at the beach.  To [taste the sweetness of] and feel the liquid of your favorite drink going down your esophagus.  I think to sense God’s holiness is to have the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge at the thought that though you are lone, someone is very much there with you.  But not just anyone.  This someone is the one whom the prophet of old spoke of as lofty and exalted.  This one is the one who’s train utterly fills the temple.  The one whom both the heavens and earth flee before.  This one is encircled by burning lights who cry out day and night that He is holy, holy, holy.  That someone who resides inside of those called by His name.  To sense God’s holiness is not only to abstain from but to shudder at the thought of sin.  To sense God’s holiness is to wish oneself accursed, yea even utterly destroyed due to one’s complete destitution before Him.  To sense God’s holiness in totality would be to cease to exist.  To be done away with.  Yet to sense God’s holiness is to be flooded with more than abundant grace and mercy at the recognition of a life saved.  Herein is our delight.  That a holy God would be entertained by wretched, worthless sinners such as we.  That a holy God would extend Himself to those wretched, worthless creatures to give them access to Himself.  That a holy God would give the best that could ever be given, Himself, to worthless wretched creatures in spite of themselves.  Oh the depths of the riches of the glorious grace and mercy of God in His unfathomable lovingkindness toward men!!!”

Oh for that sort of delight.  For that sort of passion.  I think that this is a life long pursuit.  Many would probably give up in pursuing a delight in God for the difficulty of it.  It is climbing the highest mountain.  It is walking the longest road.  And yet it holds the satisfaction of reaching its peak, or of finding your destination.  It is the refreshment of a cool breeze on a hot and humid day.  More than that, it is a warm blanket and a cup of cocoa (coffee for me) on a cold winters evening.  More than that…it is your last – first kiss…it is the groom seeing his bride for the first time at the altar…it is the enjoyment of seeing your child for the very first time, when they take their first breath in this world…it is a good nights rest.  And it is greater than that still.  What is your greatest, longest lasting pleasure and delight?  It is that, except infinitely more enjoyable, infinitely more holy, infinitely more glorious.  To delight in God, who is the greatest good…it is unspeakable.

I long for that delight.  I desire that sort of delight.  The journey toward such a delight is long, and it is difficult.  But it is good.  It is good because that which is its aim is infinitely delightful.  The pursuit of worldly gain and other such possessions is empty and shallow.  It is temporary.  It is flawed and soiled by sin’s stain.  But God is Holy and Righteous and Good, Perfect, Glorious, Gracious, Loving, Merciful…to write the love of God is a futile endeavor.  But to pursue the love of God, will never leave one ashamed.

I titled this the duty of delight, because it is a task.  It is a difficult, labor some task.  I could have just as well titled it the “pursuit of delight in God” or something like that.  As much as I would pursue prayer for the sake of communion with God, I would more pursue delight in God.  Delight in God would make all of my pursuits in God infinitely more enjoyable.

You are Gracious and Compassionate…slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.  I pray for each of my dear friends who would read this…I pray for us all, that you would create in us a heart that finds its highest joy, its greatest good in You and You alone.  May our hearts be sick, as David wrote, may our hearts pant after You as a deer for water.  May our souls thirst for You, the Living God, who alone possesses immortality and dwells in an unapproachable light and yet who has made Yourself known to us through Your Son, the Man Jesus Christ.  May we not grow tired, may we not grow weary in seeking this.   Burn His light into our hearts….burn it so that we can desire no one or no thing besides You.  Let us fall in love with the thought of His appearing.  Even so, Come Lord Jesus! Amen.

“O taste and see that the LORD is good, how blessed are all who take refuge in Him!”  Psalm 34:8

“You will make known to me the path of life, in your presence is the fullness of joy, in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

In pursuit of prayer

I am pursuing prayer.  That may sound strange, but I feel that my prayer life is of a very shabby sort.  I have been reading E. M. Bounds on Prayer.  That fella knew how to talk about prayer if anyone did.  Much of what I have been reading lately is from the standpoint that preachers, above all others, must be passionate and purposeful about prayer.  Preaching is a spiritual matter.  Prayer is a spiritual matter.  And thus for preaching to have any lasting spiritual benefit, it must be bathed in and fueled by prayer.  As I read the words of his book, understanding that they are not scripture, I am convicted and know without a doubt that it does not currently describe me.  And that ought not be so.

I am a preacher.  I preach and teach the Word of God.  That is how the Lord has thus gifted me and I am in the process of doing that and learning how to be more given to the Lord for that service to His body.  But I also know that “preaching” is not just for the preacher.  For we should all be involved in the preaching of the gospel. And so we should all be passionate about prayer that it might fuel all of our preaching.

I believe that prayer changes things.  I believe that prayer is a necessity.  And I would bet that many of us who know the Lord believe – at least consent to it cognitively and practically (and by practical I mean that we engage in it at least as a ritual).  But I don’t know how many of us could honestly say that we pursue prayer as a necessity of the heart.

David prayed in Psa 16 “I have no other good besides thee” to the LORD.  Prayer is more than just an exercise.  It is more than just a thing to be done and checked off.  It is communion with the Lord.  After I prayed this morning, I walked away feeling refreshed and encouraged.  But as I continued my day, I realized that I felt refreshed and encouraged (at least in my mind) because I had prayed, and not for the benefit of prayer.  The benefit of prayer is that it draws us nearer to God.  And that is what I needed.  I need that ever satisfying sweet fellowship with the One besides whom there is “no other good” in heaven or on earth.  That fellowship of prayer moves us closer in thought, closer in heart, closer in purpose and closer in love with the One who is alone worthy of our full attention and adoration.  There are not many other things, save communion with the Lord through His Word and fellowship with His people, that should satisfy as much as prayer.  And yet for all of its blessing and grandeur, how much do we actually pursue prayer as the greatest need of our thirsty souls?

In his writings, E. M. Bounds mentioned the example of our Lord who often went off to a secluded place to pray.   Why?  Why should He, the God-Man, need to go off into a secluded place to pray?  Why should He, but for communion, alone with His Father in heaven.  If our perfect, sinless Great God and Savior should need constant, fervent and passionate communion with His Father in heave – who is now our Father thorugh Him – how much more should we?