Why I still need Grace

I had a rough day the other day…I guess I’ve had a number of rough days recently for different reasons.  But the other day was particularly hard.  And its not for any one reason.  I didn’t get much sleep the night before so was tired.  I didn’t have much sleep because I was up late finishing something that was due the next day.  Because I had things due the next day I didn’t get to spend the time with my family in the morning that I ought to have.  Throughout the day things just didn’t seem right.  My service to the Lord was off, I felt distracted, not quite “with it” as my father in law says.  I  misunderstood some things on a number of occasions that took conversations that I had in the wrong direction.  I felt pretty awful most of the day.  Things just didn’t seem right.  You ever had a day like that?

I guess I still haven’t quite recovered from that but have taken to listening to a particular song recently that encouraged me a great deal.  (Sometimes I feel like Saul whose only help from a distressing spirit was song…not that I feel like I have a distressing spirit attacking me or anything like that, though I guess you never know with those sorts of things).  Anyway, this particular song is about the “long way home.”  The songwriter sings about a great adventure that he started out on when his Father took him on a journey.  And that he didn’t know when he started how deep the valleys would be and how high the mountains would be.  But what he did know, because of his Father, was that he was going to make it…that he’d make it there soon and that he just needed to keep pressing on to that time.  Thats some good theology.  Theology is not only found in text books, sometimes its in a song (in fact it should be in all of our songs to one another in the body of Christ Colossians 3:16).  Regardless its what I needed to hear.

Couple that with an exhortation that my prof gave in class a couple of weeks ago going through I Corinthians 10.  “No temptation has come upon you but such as is common to man.”  When I was in the midst of my gloomy day I felt lonely.  I didn’t feel lonely because I was physically alone or because I didn’t have support available from family or friend.  But I felt lonely because I was thinking that no one else really understood what was on my heart and in my mind, even if I did explain it either they still wouldn’t understand or else whatever I said would just be making excuses or complaining and so I should just keep my mouth shut.  I mean, I really wanted to do the right thing by not complaining or making excuses, its far easier to do that then to simply hold your tongue when you know you’re not having the best day.  At any rate, the Lord reminded me by that passage that there really is no temptation, no trouble, no problem that has come upon me but what is common to all men.  Whatever you are facing today, I am 99% sure that someone else in the history of others has gone through it before…and made it through.  And odds are that you’ve experienced the same, or similar things before in your life and made it through.  And so its really not as bad as you think it is.  Of course going through a long, dark tunnel, walking through a deep valley or climbing a steep mountain will always feel like a long dark tunnel, a deep valley and a steep mountain.  But the fact that we can call it a dark tunnel, deep valley or steep mountain means that someone has gone before us (to the other side) in order to identify it and distinguish it from the eternal Abyss that it feels like.  And that also means that we too can make it through.

I don’t know what it is for you.  I know what it is for me.  Life is busy and many things are difficult.  But they are not insurmountable because I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to keep me through it all.  I know that He is coming for me soon (though soon may be 5 minutes or 50 years), I know that He is coming.  And I know that the uncomfortable, distasteful change and trial that I endure is really only for a short time in comparison to the immeasurable richness of His Kindness that He has in store for me.  If you know Jesus…this is for you.  Until then, remember when you have those hard days, when you are not quite right, remember that this is why He gives greater grace.

Maranatha (Our Lord, come!)

The duty of delight (repost)

I am again reposting this from a previous year’s post.  I think I might have to revisit this for myself yearly.  I find it interesting to see where I’ve come from and how far I still have to go.  While I think that I have been making strides in my devotion to the Lord, I know that I still fall short.  Part of my struggle is busyness.  I get busy with life, busy with responsibilities, busy with various other distractions, let alone my own selfishness and slothfulness.  I get busy and forget the effort that I must put into pursuing a deeper communion with the Lord.  No one every climbed Everest from an armchair.  No one ever sailed solo around the world who was content with “good enough.”  And no one ever reached the stars who was satisfied with the way of the world around them.  And yet those who do these things are held in the highest regard as pursuing those things that are most valuable with the greatest effort.

And yet where are the men and women who see a deeper and growing communion with the true and living God as that which is most valuable?  Where are those who would say with the Apostle that “all other things are garbage in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord?”

Jesus Himself endured the cross, despised the shame and has been highly exalted for His faithful service.  We celebrate the effect of His faithful service as we reflect upon His death, burial and resurrection at Easter.  And yet it is not merely the effect of His faithful service that should cause us to awe, but also His endurance to the end of that service.  It is this endurance that I need to be reminded of in my own life.  That I am not here for myself and my own desires.  I am not here to do whatever my heart desires.  But rather I am here to serve my Risen Savior, to pursue a deeper communion with Him, to see and savor the true and living God through Him and to glorify Him forever.

Father “give me the grace [and the delight] to do what you command and command me to do your will.”

December 21, 2002:

“In reading Piper’s ‘Gods Passion for His Glory,’ Edwards’ life is told and his book is included…on page 74 it talks about the difference between believing that God is holy and merciful and ‘sensing’ God’s holiness and mercy.  He says that we must have a ‘true taste’ and delight in God’s mercy and holiness.  I think that is what is lacking in my life…a true passion for God.  What does it mean to truly hunger for and delight in God’s Glory?  To sense God’s grace, mercy and holiness.  I think to sense God’s holiness means to abstain from sin.  Much more of it to abhor sin.  [The one who] utterly despises sin is the one who truly senses God’s holiness.  To sense God’s holiness I imagine is to feel the suns warm rays on a clear sunny day at the beach.  To [taste the sweetness of] and feel the liquid of your favorite drink going down your esophagus.  I think to sense God’s holiness is to have the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge at the thought that though you are lone, someone is very much there with you.  But not just anyone.  This someone is the one whom the prophet of old spoke of as lofty and exalted.  This one is the one who’s train utterly fills the temple.  The one whom both the heavens and earth flee before.  This one is encircled by burning lights who cry out day and night that He is holy, holy, holy.  That someone who resides inside of those called by His name.  To sense God’s holiness is not only to abstain from but to shudder at the thought of sin.  To sense God’s holiness is to wish oneself accursed, yea even utterly destroyed due to one’s complete destitution before Him.  To sense God’s holiness in totality would be to cease to exist.  To be done away with.  Yet to sense God’s holiness is to be flooded with more than abundant grace and mercy at the recognition of a life saved.  Herein is our delight.  That a holy God would be entertained by wretched, worthless sinners such as we.  That a holy God would extend Himself to those wretched, worthless creatures to give them access to Himself.  That a holy God would give the best that could ever be given, Himself, to worthless wretched creatures in spite of themselves.  Oh the depths of the riches of the glorious grace and mercy of God in His unfathomable lovingkindness toward men!!!”

Oh for that sort of delight.  For that sort of passion.  I think that this is a life long pursuit.  Many would probably give up in pursuing a delight in God for the difficulty of it.  It is climbing the highest mountain.  It is walking the longest road.  And yet it holds the satisfaction of reaching its peak, or of finding your destination.  It is the refreshment of a cool breeze on a hot and humid day.  More than that, it is a warm blanket and a cup of cocoa (coffee for me) on a cold winters evening.  More than that…it is your last – first kiss…it is the groom seeing his bride for the first time at the altar…it is the enjoyment of seeing your child for the very first time, when they take their first breath in this world…it is a good nights rest.  And it is greater than that still.  What is your greatest, longest lasting pleasure and delight?  It is that, except infinitely more enjoyable, infinitely more holy, infinitely more glorious.  To delight in God, who is the greatest good…it is unspeakable.

I long for that delight.  I desire that sort of delight.  The journey toward such a delight is long, and it is difficult.  But it is good.  It is good because that which is its aim is infinitely delightful.  The pursuit of worldly gain and other such possessions is empty and shallow.  It is temporary.  It is flawed and soiled by sin’s stain.  But God is Holy and Righteous and Good, Perfect, Glorious, Gracious, Loving, Merciful…to write the love of God is a futile endeavor.  But to pursue the love of God, will never leave one ashamed.

I titled this the duty of delight, because it is a task.  It is a difficult, labor some task.  I could have just as well titled it the “pursuit of delight in God” or something like that.  As much as I would pursue prayer for the sake of communion with God, I would more pursue delight in God.  Delight in God would make all of my pursuits in God infinitely more enjoyable.

You are Gracious and Compassionate…slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.  I pray for each of my dear friends who would read this…I pray for us all, that you would create in us a heart that finds its highest joy, its greatest good in You and You alone.  May our hearts be sick, as David wrote, may our hearts pant after You as a deer for water.  May our souls thirst for You, the Living God, who alone possesses immortality and dwells in an unapproachable light and yet who has made Yourself known to us through Your Son, the Man Jesus Christ.  May we not grow tired, may we not grow weary in seeking this.   Burn His light into our hearts….burn it so that we can desire no one or no thing besides You.  Let us fall in love with the thought of His appearing.  Even so, Come Lord Jesus! Amen.

“O taste and see that the LORD is good, how blessed are all who take refuge in Him!”  Psalm 34:8

“You will make known to me the path of life, in your presence is the fullness of joy, in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Pressing Forward…

“I urge upon you communion with Christ, a growing communion.  There are curtains to be drawn aside in Christ that we never saw, and new foldings of love in Him.  I despair that I shall ever win to the far end of that love, there are so many plies in it.  Therefore dig deep, and sweat and labor and take pains for him, and set by as much time in the day for Him as you can.  We will be won in the labor.”

- Samuel Rutherford

This has become my new favorite quote.  I’m always finding new quotes that are great like this.  I remember coming to my present fellowship and hearing my Pastor give a quote and saying without hesitation that (paraphrase) “these are not my words, but God has revealed truth to others and that I am content with saying what they said.”  After all, its all God’s word anyway.  Now I’m not one to champion the phrase “all truth is God’s truth” simply because you have to define what truth you are referring to.  If the one making that comment says that truth is defined absolutely as what God has revealed about Himself in Scripture then I would say yes.  But if by truth they mean what they perceive to be truth, or else some other standard of truth that God has given in some way to man but not through His Word, then I would have to say no thank you.  But I believe this quote to be quite frankly a true principle and standard of godliness to which we all ought to attain in this life.

Paul said it this way:

“I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,  that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;  in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.  Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:8-14

The goal, the prize is to know Christ and to know Him better until the day when we will know Him perfectly (at the resurrection).  And in order to attain to that goal, to make it a goal indeed in our own hearts, we must be purposeful to press towards it.  The word for “press” in the text has the idea of persecuting something as a hunter would press hard after his hunt or as a runner presses towards the finish line, sprinting and stretching to reach the goal before anyone else.  Furthermore that the pressing towards it is a mark of maturity, for he goes on to say later “let us therefore, as many as are perfect have this attitude…”

In order to attain to that level of maturity of heart, pursuing the knowledge of Christ (a deeper communion with Christ as Rutherford said), we must count “all things” as loss.  He says in accounting terms that we must reckon all things (both gains and losses in life) as a loss in view of the value of knowing Christ.  Let go of those things that you may have gained in this life, those things that you may have earned, that make you someone in view of the world, that cause you to boast in your flesh.  And let go of your losses.  Don’t cling to those things that you have lost in this life.  No matter how great or insignificant.  Holding on to things that you might boast in your accomplishments and holding on to things that you have lost in this life will cause you to lose your fervor for seeking Christ.  It will inhibit your love for Him.  It will take your focus off of the value of growing in deeper communion with Him and persisting in that until the resurrection.

Press toward the goal.  “Dig deep, sweat, labor and take pains for Him.  Set aside as much time for Him during the day as you can.  For you will be won in the labor.”  Make it your ambition daily to take pains to commune with Christ as often as you can.  Fix your eyes completely on Him and on the grace to be brought to you at His revelation.  Set your eyes on the things above where He is seated at the right hand of God, for your life is hidden with Him.

This is a difficult but necessary doctrine.  A fruitful, vibrant Christian life does not come easy.  It is not enough to name it and claim it.  It is not enough to sit and soak up all that is spoon fed to you.  You must desire meat and no longer milk.  You must pursue the painful task of plumbing the depths of the riches of Christ’s love, if you will ever be won by that love.  You must be committed to stripping yourself (and being stripped by the Lord’s refining fires) down to nothing in yourself so that you may gain everything in Him.  Will you commit to this Christian?  Will you daily commit yourself to pursuing the One who first pursued you, and striving to take hold of that for which He has first laid hold of you?  Or will you be content with mediocre, sub-par, ordinary, nominal faith?

I for one desire more.  I want to be able to say, at the end of my life with Paul “I have struggled the good struggle, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.”  But I cannot say that from the sidelines.  One who says this is not one who has laid in a bed of roses all their lives.  One who confesses this is not one who has gone through life unscathed, without having lost, without having suffered.  But on the contrary those who confess such things have been stripped of all that they may be tempted to cling to.  They have been through the fires of God’s refining – having been burned but not consumed.  They have learned obedience by what they’ve suffered.  They know that true value and good is not merely found in convenience and comfort.  True value and good is not found in recreation and rest.  True value and good is not found in gain and glory.  True value and good are found only in the person of Christ.  Thus if you possess Him, though you lose everything for His sake, you possess all things.

I began with a quote and will end with a couple more.  This one is from A.W. Tozer in his book “The pursuit of God” as he reflects upon the experience of Abraham in his testing to offer up Isaac.

“If we would indeed know God in growing intimacy, we must go this way of renunciation.  And if we are set upon the pursuit of God, He will sooner or later bring us to this test.  Abraham’s testing was at the time not known to Him as such, yet if he had taken some course other than the one he did, the whole history of the Old Testament would have been different.  God would have found his man, no doubt, but the loss to Abraham would have been tragic beyond the telling.  So we will be brought one by one to the testing place, and we may never know when we are there.  At that testing place there will be no dozen possible choices for us – just one and an alternative – but our whole future will be conditioned by the choice we make.”

To get closer to God, we must be willing to work and to let go.

And another from Jerry Bridges, as he contemplates the sovereignty of God in suffering,

“I realized anew that just as we must learn to obey God one choice at a time, we must also learn to trust God one circumstance at a time.  Trusting God is not a matter of my feelings but of my will…our first priority in times of adversity is to honor and glorify God by trusting Him.  We tend to make our first priority the gaining of relief from our feelings of heartache or disappointment or frustration.  This is a natural desire and God has promised to give us grace sufficient for our trials and peace for our anxieties (2 Cor 12:9, Phil 4:6-7).  But just as God’s will is to take precedence over our will (Jesus Himself said, ‘yet not as I will, but as you will’ Matthew 26:39, so God’s honor is to take precedence over our feelings.”

To be willing to work and let go, we must be committed (willing) to trust Him because of who He is.

And again Rutherford,

“I urge upon you communion with Christ, a growing communion.  There are curtains to be drawn aside in Christ that we never saw, and new foldings of love in Him.  I despair that I shall ever win to the far end of that love, there are so many plies in it.  Therefore dig deep, and sweat and labor and take pains for him, and set by as much time in the day for Him as you can.  We will be won in the labor.”

To be willing to trust Him because of who He is, we must be committed to get closer to Him, that is to know Him more intimately.

 

Pursue Christ, keep yourself growing in His love.  Surround yourselves with others who do the same.  Keep yourselves from idols of the heart.  Look forward to His return.  Maranatha!